From the very beginning, neither was what the other anticipated.

It didn't help, of course, that the friend aiming to set them up didn't provide much detail beyond their names. And although they'd both likely had a lifetime of not living up to those names – at least in terms of expected appearance – they couldn't help but lean on stereotypical assumptions going into that first encounter with each other.

She was looking for Tim, she told him – totally expecting someone white. He was looking for Chantelle, he told her – totally expecting someone black. But despite their initial surprise, it was soon enough clear to Chantelle Darrow and Tim Niles that they'd each found exactly whom they were looking for.

That first blind date of sorts took place in December 2008, and they both distinctly remember the Christmas lights that surrounded them on Commercial Street in Emporia, Kansas, as they walked from one bar to the next. They closed down that second bar that first night but weren’t ready to call it a night, so they talked until morning on Tim’s living room couch. 

They shared about their polar-opposite upbringings, with him a street-smart guy from Brooklyn and her a small-town girl from Kansas who had to be taught to lock her doors in the “big city” where they were both undergraduates at Emporia State University. Despite their differences, they had common ground in that status, as well as in a love for basketball. And with Tim playing for ESU’s basketball team, they didn’t have to look far for something to bond over early-on.

chantelle + tim

- a long journey together to forever -

By Erin Wisdom-Watson

They shared about their polar-opposite upbringings,
with him a street-smart guy from Brooklyn
and her a small-town girl from Kansas.

But that bonding was only as friends at first. This was a little strange for Chantelle, who — just in her first year of college at the time — was still accustomed to the tendency she’d seen in her hometown for relationships to progress quickly. But Tim resisted rushing things, not because he was entirely against a serious relationship but because he didn’t want to run the risk of getting too serious too soon.

So even though she was ready to say those three not-so-little words by the end of that school year, Chantelle waited. She went home to Minneapolis, Kansas, that summer, while Tim went to Chicago to work and be with family. But when they both returned to school that July 2009, he’d prepared a gesture that made her wait worth it.

This gesture included a ring — one intended for her right hand, not her left. Still, he was somewhat concerned she’d get the wrong idea when he presented it to her, given that she was on his bed at the time and he was on the floor. But despite this pseudo-proposal positioning and the gift that came with it, what truly caught her attention was the well-thought-out “I love you” he finally voiced.

With that, they were officially a couple — and a pretty committed one, as was evidenced by their mutual agreement to transfer to Washburn University in Topeka, Kansas, the next school year. 

After they’d both graduated from there, they made another big move, with Tim accepting a spot on a semi-professional basketball team in Houston. They lived there a year before Chantelle was accepted to the physician assistant program at Texas Tech University, which sparked the start of a long-distance relationship — since despite being in the same state, Houston and Lubbock are hours apart. 

But long drives aren't all bad. In fact, it was a very long drive that offered them an opportunity for a serious — if slightly hypothetical — conversation in 2013. 

They were taking a trip from Houston to Kansas at the time, making the 11-hour journey overnight and doing their best to stay awake by discussing marriage and other future possibilities for the first time. And this hypothetical discussion turned more to hinting on Chantelle’s part over the course of the next year, as she began having friends get engaged.

Still, she wasn’t expecting to actually get engaged herself until she was nearly done with school. So she really didn’t see anything coming on August 10, 2014, when months of planning on Tim’s part came together in a proposal at her parents’ house.

She was visiting to celebrate her dad’s birthday, having flown in to surprise him. Tim then surprised her by showing up, as well — and just being able to reunite with him for the first time in two months was wonderful on its own. 

But he had something else for her, and in true 21st-century fashion began his proposal by posting part of a poem he’d written her on Facebook. The end of the final post directed her to go to his tablet to read the rest of the poem (because of course, he couldn’t have all her social-media friends seeing the actual proposal before she did).

The last line of the poem — which Chantelle read aloud while her family looked on — stated, “You have me on bended knee.” Her voice cracked on that last line, as she finally realized what was happening. And sure enough, when she looked up from the tablet, she saw Tim on bended knee with the engagement ring he’d designed for her himself.

She said yes before the ring was out of the box — prompting him to ask if she even wanted to see it.

“Sure, but I’d have said yes anyway,” she told him. She did verify, though, after seeing the ring: “OK, still yes.”

As disciplined as she was about school, Chantelle resisted jumping into wedding planning for a year and a half. But finally, in February 2016, they set a wedding date. The following August, she graduated from Texas Tech and moved back to her hometown. And because Tim had already taken a job nearby, they finally put an end to their long-distance status and could enjoy day-to-day life together while planning for the next step that will unite the rest of their lives.

This milestone will take place in Lindsborg, Kansas, on May 6, 2017 — when they’ll say “I do” and will celebrate not only their new marital status but also the bond that’s brought it about.

They attribute this connection in part to having opposite tendencies that complement each other, such as Chantelle’s type-A personality and Tim’s more patient, easygoing nature. She admires this in him, as well as his humor and his ability to make people laugh and to shine as the center of attention.

Of course, there’s plenty Tim appreciates about Chantelle, as well — as is evidenced by his willingness to forego the city lifestyle he used to see for himself in order for her to live around family in the close-knit community where she grew up.

But it was actually the ambition that took her away from this community for a while, as she worked hard to earn her degrees and prepare for her career, that is one thing he admires most in her. Her commitment to her future profession influenced him to go into the medical field, as well — and with this as well as other shared interests and values, their future seems sure to flourish.

“I like that she has a lot of drive,” Tim adds. “That’s why we continue to grow: because I follow suit with her.”